Light Housekeeping

First, A Disclaimer: Before the holiday season gets too far in jingle bell swing, it seems important to say that at some point during the next monthish, I’m inevitably going to publish a post of Christmas decorations I think are funny. Hence, the disclaimer: it’s going to appear that I’m being snarky or snobbish about holiday cheer.

Au contraire.

Christmas decorations that are delightfully tacky, charmingly spartan, unclassifiably unique, breathtakingly beautiful, and even those that are unintentionally suggestive (Eeyore, Tigger, and Pooh yard inflatables on sled, that would be you): the truth is, I love them all.

So I just want the disclaimer to appear in advance: if I stick a photograph of your yard on my blog, it’s actually by way of being a love letter to the holiday spirit I found there. I’m laughing with you. Seriously.

(See, I have to say that now because I’m already feeling pre-guilt for giggling at people’s yards as they glitz up for the season, even though, in reality, sometimes I think I love the funny and/or inexplicable decorations best.)

Second: Yes, Virginia, There Is Such a Thing as Bad Publicity. Just ask the poor people of Indiana who, of late, have been subjected to quite possibly the oogiest, ickiest, Springeriest media campaign of all time: the Indiana Pacers’ “Blue Collar–Gold Swagger” ads/slogan.

I think this ad campaign will soon be followed with the newest official NBA licensed Pacers merchandise: the uber-cheap and offal men’s body spray “Blue Collar–Gold Swagger” sounded like in the first place.

Thirdly, Best Quote of Monday: “I wonder what would happen if all the Sunday shows decided to just stop putting John McCain on air every week?” Rachel Maddow

Lastly, A GREAT BIG THANK YOU! Over the past couple weeks, I’ve had some new visitors, followers, and likes on my little blog. I really am grateful to everyone who bothers to stop by or accidentally happens on this site and I’m especially grateful to those who thought to click “like,” or share on Facebook, comment, or follow the blog. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

I’m also a little behind on the reciprocal comments, visits, reading and following of other bloggers’ sites. I will get there, I promise. Just with the Thanksgiving prepping, and the additional Thanksgiving prepping, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving coma, and then some other stuff, I’ve gotten a bit behind on checking out my visitors’ sites. (But I will. And thank you again!)

Plus, I had to put up my tree.

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To © or Not to ©. And Other Things Blogtastic.

You would think now that Emerald Orange is nearly in her terrible twos, the author would feel like an old hand at the proper care and feeding of the blogosphere. This is simply not the case. The author is perpetually mystified by the dos and don’ts of The Successful Blog. The Successful Blog itself is a strange and perhaps mythic creature whose very identity can shift on a daily basis. This author suspects The Successful Blog avoids authors who worry overmuch about Successful Blogs. Putting that question aside for a moment, the author has read both fantastic and outright tragic blog posts on the Internet, lack of censorship being brilliant for information and creativity but unsuccessful at quality control and (maybe) overproduction. At any rate, as this particular blog nears its toddlerhood, here are some thoughts on bloggery that the author has not yet resolved in the effort to create a Better Emerald Orange. She puts it to you, blogosphere. What are your thoughts?

To © or Not to ©. Plagiarism is bad. It is theft. Proper attribution is only fair, especially in the world of copy-paste. Everyone wants the credit for their own work, whether it’s shoddy or exceptional or something in-between. So here’s the question: is it protective and prudent or merely pretentious to throw the “all words and images here are the copyright of the author unless otherwise specified” script on the blog or About page or on every post? Some blogs mention it, some don’t. To this “writer” it would seem to go without saying that, yes, by all means, please take what you like but throw me a link or an attribution. Because only Bad People plagiarize and there just can’t be very many Bad People out there. Naïve? Humble? What say you, blogosphere?

Find Your Niche. As is immediately obvious to anyone who peeps in at it, Emerald Orange is nothing if not Utterly Random. Which means one day, the author is pleasing to someone but on the next she is offending/boring them. There’s a lot of advice out there on Becoming a Better Blogger. Quite a bit of it suggests it is wise to create a niche blog: to limit the blog to one topic or type and create others if one wants to branch out. For this author, that’s probably a keen suggestion, but one that would require more time online than she currently has. But she hates knowing that perhaps she is disappointing her little band of followers and guests who sort of like one thing and then check back and see something incomprehensible or uninteresting. Is the random/niche polarity really so important in pleasing the (potential) readership? Or do you just do that thing you do and be grateful when/if someone somewhere likes it a little? (This has been the author’s philosophy.)

Breakfast Serial (And Style). This writer is a tireless defender of the serial comma. Despite the fact that current media practice eliminates the last comma (e.g.: “apple, kiwi and orange” instead of “apple, kiwi, and orange”), this author refuses to let the serial comma go gracefully into that good night unless she has a darned good reason for doing so (paid employment writing somewhere that’s insistent on the subject). The author also has been known to experience anxiety about the style question: should she be using AP, Chicago Manual, or MLA? Does it really matter if one is consistent? Does it matter even then? It’s just a blog, for goodness’ sake! Do any other bloggers freak themselves out on these things?

Show Me the Money. Monetization of The Blog. Some bloggers go outright with the Tips or Donate button, some get/have ads, and others still are Amazon Associates so when they recommend books or what have you, any clicks generate a tiny commission. The truly confident and/or entrepreneurial authors/bloggers publish their blogs by subscription only or as serial e-books. This author understands: what’s better than to get paid a little something so you can pay your bills and have more time for writing? And if one has more time to write and research, the writing is much more likely to be something worth reading. But then it sort of makes her squirm: the best thing about the Internet is the (mostly) free dissemination of information and the collaboration and connections that creates. Luckily for the author, she suspects this is only (or should be only) an issue for Successful Blogs (depending on definition of “successful,” again.)

Support Group. The blogosphere is full of warm, funny, and smart people. Just as the geniuses at WordPress suggest, it really is a good idea to Read Other Blogs, “Like” them, and comment on them. It’s rewarding on its own (good stuff to read and it’s nice to support other people) and sometimes it creates a support network of bloggers who follow—and, happily, become acquainted with–one another. And recently, (switching to first person now) I became aware of yet another way to support and be supported by fellow bloggers. The kind folks at Indianapolis Bloggers have come up with the brilliant idea to create a kind of home base for, well, Indianapolis blogs. They have generously allowed me to join the lists. If you’re around the Circle City, you should check them out. If you’re not, you should check them out anyway and then steal the idea for your city (with proper attribution to Indianapolis Bloggers, of course).

Happy writing and blogging, one and all. I’d love to hear what your thoughts and suggestions on all things blogging are.  And, if you’re reading this, thanks for stopping by.

Random Sauce

Stick-figure Me. Artwork by my friend Marty and his iGadgetry.

A Kid Called “Puce”

You know those “My Family” decals which festoon, and I am not exaggerating, every minivan in suburban Indiana? Those happy stick-figure man + woman + kids + pets decorating rear windows across the roads of this country? Well, I was stopped at a red light (as one generally finds oneself, you know, at the red light) behind a minivan with the whole family visually represented in cutesy shorthand and lo, and behold, all the names of the family members were marked underneath. So I knew the non-baby children were named (for the purposes of my story) “Brooklyn,” “Addison,” and “Haley.” (And incidentally, any pervs hanging around the Target who park next to that van will know, too, and will also know that Brooklyn and Addison are cheerleaders, which is helpful advertising if you’re the perv in the parking lot, I guess.)

Well, it being a free country and all, even for liars, there’s really nothing stopping me from being the life of the vehicular stoplight party: I’m thinking two female grown-up stickers, a male grown-up sticker, and like, 20, kids. And some stick-figure cats. And I’m going to name every single member of that fake My Family.

A couple of those kids are going to be named “Puce.”

Oh, the Things America is Googling!

In the blogosphere, in the ongoing quest for ever-increasing “more hits,” one starts to discover that nothing is so important as a really good keyword. Some people will actually load their “content” with keywords just to drive traffic to their site.

Other people, like me, will just check and see which search terms were used to lead people to their site. This is really entertaining, actually. Emerald/Orange has received more hits from people looking for “paul ryan abs” and “mountain dew pajama pants” than for any other search inquiries.

So, in the future, all my titles and tags will include popular and/or ironic really random (and fun!) keywords: Teddy Ruxpin! Gluten-free! Kardashian!

I can’t wait to see which one America googles first.

And a Brief Moment of Politics: The Food Stamp President

During this silly season of campaign-palooza, one of GOP candidate Newt Gingrich’s habitual lines involves calling President Obama “the food stamp president.” Former Speaker Gingrich loves to point out that this president has put more people on food stamps than any other president, which isn’t actually true, but even if it were, well, he also inherited the worst American economy than any other president since Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

But hey, why ruin a perfectly good and limitlessly usable sound bite with facts and context?